Bert the Cactus

I bought Bert at Home Depot in the fall of 1995, in time to take with me to the first apartment I lived in, in Lambeth field at UVA.  Bert was a tiny cactus, about 4 inches high.  He sat on my windowsill and slowly grew, as cacti do.

When I went off to Spain my Mom took care of Bert, and a very very good job she did.  Bert flourished under her care.

Now Bert sits outside my front door, mingling with the California flowers, roses, and snails.  Snails have seemed to take a particular interest in him -- on multiple occasions I've walked out my front door to pick up the paper and checked him out, and what?  A snail sitting on Bert's skin, tucked perfectly between his astonishingly dangerous spines, sucking his life juices away.

Now, I have not a thing against snails.  In fact, I try to save their little insignificant lives every chance I get.  But Mr. Snail better get the hell off Bert.  So I pluck the snail off and set him gingerly among the luscious dew-coated grass blades just inches away from my dear cactus.

Bert traveled all 2800 miles with us, from Washington D.C. to Los Angeles.  Unable to trust the movers with him, I wrapped him in his pot within a hefty paper leaf bag given to me by Arlington County.  Bert was going in the Jeep, along with me, Kari, Zulan, and Milo, all the way across the country.